History - Tradition

Typically, except for a few cases, marriages were held in matchmaking. Families decided and very often did not ask the people directly concerned. Fathers were the general managers, and they made the decisions, often requiring their girl to accept someone who she did not want.

The beginning of the marriage was the matchmaking, with the main issue being the negotiations on the dowry (an anachronistic tradition that put the woman in trouble, especially the one from a poor family - was abolished by law in 1983).

To complete a match making, a mediator, the so-called matchmaker, had to be in the middle. More often she was a woman, because women did better in these jobs. The matchmaker, man or woman, was also called co-mother or co-father in-law, the job that had to be finished, match making or marriage match.

The second step was the engagement of the future couple, which helped to get to know each other and set the date for the wedding. If the girl's side was ready, i.e. there was no problem with the dowry then the engagement period did not last long.

There was also the occasion, but uncommon, not to have a match making. Then it was about the following: If the parents of someone young man or woman saw that someone was fitting to their son or daughter, one of the two and mostly the mother first decided and spoke to the other's mother and then both parents took part and the marriage arrangement ended pleasantly.

Rarely, however, two young people were secretly loved because the customs that time did not allow the obvious love. Then one of them took the courage and said it to his mother, and if their parents agreed, the marriage arrangement was easily ended. In all other match makings, the marriage match ended with match makers. The co mother-in-law had to be very informed on the issues of the village and able to establish a difficult match making.

Many times she was in trouble in the streets and back, in many conversations. Also, it is not rare that she had to tell lots of lies to achieve her purpose. If the objection came from one of the two young people then the mediator was suitably qualifying each young man or woman. If the boy did not like the girl, the matchmaker was telling him many compliments for her. Having said what she could, for example, "Don’t you want that girl? there is no better girl than her, she is first in housekeeping, the most capable, first in singing, dancing, in beauty and even in intelligence.

On the contrary, if the girl didn’t want the boy, then the matchmaker had to mention other qualifications according to the habits of the time for the young man i.e. do not you want him?, is there a better boy in our village? This is the best swain in the village, the best at the dance, the best at the song, the best at the house making, the most capable etc.

These and much more were being said till the match making end.

Many times they agreed from the start the match making and left the co parents-in-law to discuss about the dowry later. They secretly arranged some evening a meeting with the matchmaker at the bride's home. After getting dark and very carefully, the groom's father and his wife and some other that they trusted arrived at the bride's house and after the windows and doors were closed, the conversation began quietly.

They talked a lot hours. Many times the conversation was in a dead-end. Then the others who were in the conversation were interfering to save the wreck, trying to make mutual retreat and compromise.